“At its core art-making is a process of sharing; sharing your internal world, unbinding it from its shackles of pain and suffering. It is a sharing of energy with materials so that paint and texture and form dance and smear across paper and canvas. Art making shares your voice…”
Mull over the word sharing and what does it evoke for you? Warmth and connection, nervous anticipation, agitation, delight? It’s a powerful directive and one I thought I’d dip into a little more deeply this month. I have been curious to reflect on what it means to me, my work and creativity.
Sharing isn’t unfamiliar to me. I am a triplet and commenced life sharing my mothers womb with my two sisters. As we grew there were many other things to share; games, bedrooms, clothes, jobs and friends. My mum will testify that it wasn’t always an amicable sharing with three fiery, headstrong girls pushing relational boundaries and exploring differentiation. I am sure at times it was easier to share with our younger brother than between each of us. It wasn’t until our early 20’s when we each ended up living in different states that I truly experienced what it was like to be separate and sharing on autopilot much less. It was startling in some ways, freeing in others and generally a lot harder.
Sharing occurs in a myriad of different contexts and with each person involved there is also a unique motive and emotional association. Sharing can happen from two foundations; abundance and scarcity. Abundant sharing is more likely to be experienced with joy. There is surplus of whatever the item or resource is and it is given freely so that the benefits can be experienced by others. A simplistic example of abundant sharing happens when I bake an extra large chocolate cake and I want to share it with people at a dinner party.
One of the values I try to create when I teach art or facilitate art therapy is that there is an abundance of materials and atmosphere. Generally it creates positive experience and is easier for those that find sharing difficult. Abundance can help create ease and relaxation and considering many people feel nervous pre-artmaking and therapeutic engagement it is significantly important.
Ways in which I create an abundant atmosphere is having art materials across multiple surface levels including shelves and the table. I mix quality art materials with lovingly organised craft supplies and collected items. Paper is arranged so the different sizes, textures and colours are visible and generally I put away items that I don’t want freely used until they are needed. Having cushions and plants can be helpful and also being mindful about time management. I schedule 30 minutes between clients so that I have time to reset, clients feel like the space is their own (unless it’s a class) and time feels that teeny bit more abundant.
Scarcity by comparison is when there is a deficit or limitation of something. The resulting experience is anxiety, constriction and in some cases defensiveness. I might have a large chocolate cake to share but instead of my cosy dinner party, I am at a large morning tea with thirty people and everyone else forgot to bring something. Awkward? Perhaps, stressful? Certainly!
I am of course providing a light example of sharing. But sharing is woven through the fabric of life itself. We share many times a day, regardless of whether it is an active or passive sharing and when thinking existentially, we all share the same air and earth as inhabitants. In many situations however the ability to share isn’t just about pleasantries and chocolate cake, it determines survival. During disasters, war and famines scarce resources are shared out of necessity. Scarcity is coupled with fear, competition and pain. Unfortunately greed runs in many occurrences of sharing, tipping a humble equality into imbalance. As such scarcity doesn’t always occur from the volume of something itself but from behaviour, perception or impulse.
Which brings me to the crux of the topic, how do you generate abundance and minimise scarcity and greed regardless of the physicality of the context? The answer has to do with perception, attitude and your internal world. You might have heard the term abundant mindset thrown around before, It’s been widely adopted in finance and business frameworks it tends to go along with the notion that abundance mindset is essential for growth. Of course there are at least a dozen lines of fine print when you talk of growth formulas. But I do believe sharpening your sharing skills and shifting your mindset to see potential instead of lack has an untold impact on fulfilment, creativity and mastery.
When I review peoples goals for therapy; restoring confidence, finding purpose, building social connection and apt social skills and flourishing despite limitations and experiences of loss and trauma are very prevalence.
At its core art-making is a process of sharing; sharing your internal world, unbinding it from its shackles of pain and suffering. It is a sharing of energy with materials so that paint and texture and form dance and smear across paper and canvas. Art making shares your voice, so that it may echo through someone else’s darkness. It is a point of connection, of similarity of humility and of humanity.
Despite its inherent purpose expressing our internal worlds creativity has many processes which support development of social skills and broader sharing skills. It is one of my favourite uses for art therapy and I enjoy tugging at the many subtle and diverse ways of connecting through process.
In its usual way art making can be a parallel process or a microcosm for safe exploration and development prior to extending and expanding to a wider context. Art is fundamentally a process laden with flexibility and adaptability to meet people where they are at, before embarking on manageable progressions. It isn’t unusual for me to work with people who find sharing difficult or seemingly impossible. Slowly we chip away at changing this in the art-room and consequently in other areas of their life.
Sharing is difficult when the demand is on something we value and simultaneously a historic experience of loss or pain is triggered (consciously or not). I find it excruciatingly hard in situations of sharing when there is a lack of clarity around dispersal and when there is unfavourable bias. My childhood experiences of bullying combined with my sensitivity of others feelings and my value of justice and equality mean it can often be a pain point. It can be useful to consider your own ways and histories with sharing. Do you hate sharing food because you were always left with so little that you were either disappointed or hungry. Perhaps you had a sibling that not only ate the full portion of the lunch platter but always broke your toys or used up all your art materials.
When sharing evokes feelings of deficit, shame, loss, confusion, humiliation, overwhelm, anxiety or other difficult feelings it is more likely we will avoid or withdraw our participation. A compassionate approach to yourself or to others that find sharing difficult can be helpful. As is especially the case for children. Despite sharing being fundamental to being human and a highly valued moral action our sharing skills are something that must be developed and supported. Effective development of sharing skills happens in a way that acknowledges the capacities and development of the child or the person. Forceful sharing before a child has the capacity to hold multiple constructs unanimously or recognizes “other” outside of themselves can incidentally compound emotional reactivity, defensiveness and partaking only to complete the action rather than being motivated to do so. My recommendation is to separate sharing in the context of manners vs the development of morals. For instance it may be non-negotiable to you that your child shares the swing at the park after 10 minutes. It is polite. But it is also important to you that your child learns to share toys at a playdate without supervision. The first you can implement with boundaries and rote learning, regardless of whether the child fully understands why. The latter is more complex, your child must recognise the perspective of another and why they might like to share toys. This involves empathy. Empathy is a fundamental foundation for genuine sharing and requires a number of other skills including emotional recognition and articulation. The younger the child, the more likely these skills are in their infancy. To support your child to develop self motivated sharing skills you can support them with curious and non-judgmental recognition of all types of feelings, assisting them to recognise emotions in themselves and others as well as providing them with opportunities of play. Throw in a healthy dose of patience for the developmental peice of the puzzle.
Some neuro-developmental differences and disabilities can have an impact on someones disposition to share in such a way that sharing is more difficult. For some children with autism for example social play can develop differently or be delayed. This is not to say those children aren’t capable of empathy or having sharing skills, but it may look different for them and expectations and results may need to be mapped a little differently.
It is the lacking of empathy and its partner in crime; sharing, that when absent make life feel harder. It is what I sorely miss (and I assume many of you do) when I am without the proximity of loved ones. Sharing builds a sense of support and mitigates loneliness, it brings purpose and joy and fulfilment. A core ingredient to halving pain and spreading kindness.
Circling back round to some of practical ways that art can support sharing and my recommendation is to start small. A pot of pens, with double of each colour is a good place to start, an equal footing before progressing to one of each colour and then on to other materials.
If you would like to be able to make art with others, or even just share an art space comfortably and create alongside each other then engaging in activities that break the ice and provide moments of rapport and humour can be helpful. Scribble and Mr Squiggle games are enjoyed whatever age the participants.
You can simply revel in the ability to share in an art space or process, passing scizzors and brushes between each other. Filling fresh water cups and declaring the best paintbrush for tiny details. For some though, walking a little further along the edge of sharing to collaboration is fruitful. The dictionary defines sharing as “ use, occupy, or enjoy (something) jointly with another or others”. Collaboration is defined by “ the action of working with someone to produce something”.
Art has endless ways to collaborate. In an everday activity context it can exist as wrapping large sheets of paper across your fridge or a wall to create a shared drawing. It might be building sculptures and castles. You can collaborate on paintings by sharing colours and grouping canvases, or you can puzzle over a shared family mosaic. The next Newsletter (out on the 30th April will have some collaborative and sharing art activity ideas as well as some artist spotlights on some of my favorite collaborators and famous creative shared projects. I hope you’ll read it over some shared chocolate cake.
You can find blogs and newsletter all in one place at my Substack Art Muse here.
